Dear Dylan,
I'm writing this just a few days before what should be your sixth birthday and even though it is late August, we are having some cooler weather here in Ashland. I wonder if it is cold in Tumalo and then I remember that it doesn't really matter since you are not there. Your stone Winnie-the-Pooh is there and I suppose your bones are too, but the essence of who you are is not. It has taken me a long time to really understand that. It was hard for me to leave you out there and walk away. I really didn't want to, baby. I didn't want to let you go. It wasn't my choice, but since then I have also learned that you had some lessons to teach us. Some were ones that I struggled with, like letting go of people I love and understanding that this lifetime is not everything. Some were more simple. Like being kind to other people because we do not know how much time we will be given and cherishing other people. I am a better person because of you.
I wanted you to know that we are all remembering you. Actually I think about you every day, but I think you already know that in some way.
At your funeral, I asked our friends and family to remember you by doing kind things for other people and we are quietly doing some good this week for you.
When I think about all of the things that have happened to us since 1998, I can't help but be grateful that our family is still intact. I used to think that losing a child would draw people together, but losing you taught me that the opposite is closer to the truth. I am grateful that our family is still strong.
I miss you. I wish I could make you a big birthday cake and give you a huge hug. Your dad, Sierra, Madison and I all love you very much! Love MOM
